Life as we know it is over: how the 20mph Esplanade speed limit will literally end the world

OOTSIDE WESTSIDE PINE – Sales of air raid shelters have quinquadtriduotuppled in Shetland after the Shetland Islands Council basically declared nuclear war on the entire population of Shetland.

Their dangerously disastrous decision to reduce the speed limit on the Esplanade from 30 miles per hour to a meagre 20 miles per hour is set to bring about the end to life as we know it, according to Shetlanders on Facebook.

Reacting to the newsstory on Facebook, one Shetland resident proclaimed that the new speed limit will “kill Da Street” (for reasons that are unclear). Another man, who wears a seatbelt despite never having been in a crash demanded to see the accident stats, believing that there to have never been an accident in the area (as if that’s that point).

Meanwhile, Snob Hill resident has today started a petition to increase the speed limit on the Esplanade to 50mph, saying “It’s awful that we now have to spend longer driving past the completely miserable wasteland that is Lerwick’s high street”.

1 Comment on "Life as we know it is over: how the 20mph Esplanade speed limit will literally end the world"

  1. Top Secret.
    Real reason Shetland Cooncil worried about da dugdirt on roads emergency speed levels now, at 20m.p.h (for his eyes only ,saves on cost o redding it up and vehicles skyting oot o control.We got tae thinkaboot da Cooncil tax especially in election year).

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


*


Pin It on Pinterest