Council HQ floors crumble after management get pay delivered in cash

NORTH NESS – Council worker drones were today instructed to vacate the ‘White House’, the colloquial name for the Shetland Islands Council’s new £7.3 million HQ in North Ness.

The £7.3 million pound building was finished in 2012 and has been the home of the SIC ever since. But a recent decision by SIC bigwigs to have their bulky paychecks delivered to their top floor penthouse offices in cash rather than be transferred online, has caused structural damage to the £7.3 million pound building.

Council workers are said to be delighted at having a new excuse to skive off work, and Da Bonxie has noticed an uptick in traffic after the workers were told to stay away from their workplace.

Da Bonxie contacted the SIC communications department for a quote, but they’re all at home enjoying their new found excuse to not to do their jobs.

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