BETWEEN VOE AND BRAE – In what is being described as “exactly like that scene from the Godfather if the Godfather was made in Shetland”, the Head of Planning for the Shetland Islands Council woke up with a severed Shetland pony’s head in his bed.
The incident comes after the SIC’s planning department refused to give permission for the construction of an Italian eatery between Voe and Brae.
The local man responsible for bidding, Henry ‘Clamps’ Berlusconi told Da Bonxie he had nothing to do with it:
“I don’t-a know-a whattada bigga fuss is abouta, in Italia this happens alla d’time’a”
Well, we’re convinced. By the way, he serves pizza with a delicious mystery meat on it. Hugely recommended.
There’s nothing more to say, it’s obvious that Clamps is innocent. Seriously. Stop looking in to this issue. Now.