MARKET STREET – The Fire Brigade were called out to the Lerwick Police Station after smoke was seen emerging from multiple windows in the building.
The incident strangely coincides with the latest drug bust where the Police raided a home in Harbour Street and successfully confiscated one whole gram of cannabis.
The offender, who claimed that he used the ultra-dangerous and super-lethal drug was for personal use to help him relax, is expected to be sentenced to 20 years hard labour in HM Polmont as appropriate punishment. It is expected that the Sheriff will rule that 20 years in an environment of constant fear will help the accused, who cannot be named for lazy journalism reasons, relax.
Eyewitness reports have told Da Bonxie that that when the Fire Brigade burst into the building, faint Reggae music could be heard as well as what sounded like girly giggles.
We posted reporter Sadly Clueless outside the door to attempt to get a comment from the Area Commander, but so far he has only passed Mr Clueless a hastily scribbled note that says “get Raba now plese [sic]”