Shetland police bust illegal tyaffa tyaike trade in Whalsay

A POLICE raid on the island of Whalsay has turned up what could be a mountain of counterfeit tyaffa tyaikes, Da Bonxie has learnt.

The local fuzz descended on the Bonny Isle last weekend, with four police vans, three unmarked cars and two helicopters carrying some 44 officers into the tiny community.

They battered the door down and ransacked through Bessie’s hoose, but could only find bona fide McVities jaffa cakes proudly displayed in every room.

But, acting on intelligence, the bobbies sped past the harbour and smashed in the entrance to the old salmon factory.

It is not clear whether islanders have been illegally producing tyaffa tyaikes, or whether these cakes were smuggled into the island, but whatever it was it was definitely illegal.

One officer said: “It was like being in Aleppo, some of the stuff we found. Hypodermic needles dripping with jelly from Jaffa Cakes; couples of working age lying slumped on the sofa under mountains of empty packets of biscuits. Unbelievable.”

While two individuals were found in possession of illicit tyaffa tyaikes, much to the fury of McVities PLC, no one was arrested or reported to the procurator fiscal.

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