All of Lerwick man’s favourite pubs employ his ex-girlfriends

LERWICK HOTEL BAR – The ill-effects of being promiscuous on a small island came home to roost this week for one unlucky Lerwick man.

In recent years Jonathan ‘The Pump’ Anderson was able to enjoy a night out in Lerwick without seeing too many of his ex-girlfriends working in bars. In 2015, only the Lounge and Da Noost were out of bounds for The Pump. But it was not until summer 2016 when Mareel employed Pump’s most recent ex-girlfriend that things turned from bad to worse.

We caught up with Pumpy himself in, one of his few last safe havens in the toon, the Lerwick Hotel Bar.

He told Da Bonxie: “All I want is to be able to shag aboot the isle without any consequences. Is that too much aks?! Now I’ve resorted to drinking in the bloody Lerwick Hotel Bar. I didna even keen they HAD a bar!”

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