4 things we found stuck to the floor in Posers – Bonxfeed News

  • Somebody’s Sambas


A mainstay for Shetland men since the 90’s, we found this paid of size 9 Sambas stuck next to the bar. Oddly enough, the socks were still in them too. The floor must’ve been so sticky that it seeped up through the rubber sole and onto this poor souls feet. Luckily, the owner probably has at least 6 more pairs in back home so he won’t be missing this one too much.

  • Dignity


Right in the middle of the dance floor, we found the bloody, battered corpse of someone’s dignity. This person probably up until this night lived a life of which they could be at least somewhat proud. They probably worked for Da Council or in the Oil Industry and rented a flat in Harbour Street or Sandveien. They probably started the night well, with some pre-gaming at a pals hoose before lubricating the evening at Captain Flints until some god damn genius decided that attending Posers was a good idea. They probably had one to many snakebites before twerking to Justin Bieber’s new song, much to the disgust of everyone.

Upon closer inspection, we found everyone’s dignity on the floor.

  • A Wir Shetland manifesto


This one confused us. Obviously Wir Shetland are struggling to gain any semblance of support in Shetland, but trying to appeal to the likes of people who attend Posers won’t do you any good. Sort yourselves out, guys and gal.

  • My press pass


Um, no idea how this got here! Someone must have stolen it, honest.

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