LERWICK – The withdrawal of the Mareel cinema’s popcorn machine is likely to tip the Shetland economy into recession by the end of the year, local accountants have warned.
Analysts issued the grave warning after Shetland Arts said it would be serving the buttery snacks in pre-packaged form – enraging one regular cinemagoer so much that he dubbed the arts venue “a bigger mess than Syria”.
“Count me oot. There’s no point going to see a top class film unless you can hear the sound of someone grazing and chomping on a box of butter-laden seeds,” one imbecile fumed.
“The sound of folk eating products from Scoop? It’s just no the same.”
That prompted Shetland Arts boss Graeme Howell to issue a statement clarifying that the only “scoop” involved in Mareel’s refreshments bar would be a plastic one used to serve up snacks.
“We apologise for any seeds of confusion we may have sown,” he added.