Waitrose to launch in Shetland as Waitrows

THE LANG KAMES – High-end supermarket Waitrose have announced their expansion into the Shetland market with the official launch of a new Waitrows store in the hills of the Lang Kames.

The exclusive new store will cater solely for Shetland’s underground populations and has been welcomed by Trows and Gruelly’s across the isle.

We sent our reporter, Sadly Clueless out to knock on Trowie Knowes to get comment from some of the mischievous bunch but we haven’t heard back from him in two of three days. We’re sure he’s fine.

A spokesperson for the Coop said: “I don’t see what the big deal is with the new Waitrose, if you want to see trolls and other mythical monsters they can be seen in our Holmsgarth Road branch every single day.”

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