Wheel Bar to add third floor for ‘multi-level disappointment’

13 COMMERCIAL STREET – Popular local ‘nightclub’/bar/pub Da Wheel Bar has announced that it intends on adding a third floor to ensure “multi-level disappointment”.

The indecisive local drinking hole, which only last year expanded its dance floor in order to allow for longer opening hours, believes that an extra floor would create an entirely new tier of disappointment previously unexperienced in Shetland.

Da Wheel has a well-earned reputation for being a slestir and has been disappointing local drunks and underagers for years, and the management are excited about the prospect of a third floor, saying:

“Shetland’s a fantastic place to own a pub. There’s so little choice that people are forced to actually pay to get into a place like Da Wheel. Now we’re hoping to capture more of the ‘didn’t get into Posers’ crowd by adding a third floor.

“The multi-level disappointment should easily bring in an extra half a million a year.”

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