Lerwick man who wants you to buy Shetland Milk has a house full of IKEA

KING HARALD STREET – A local man has been caught in a parochial paradox this afternoon after demanding that people only buy Shetland Milk while purchasing literally everything else online.

Ronnie Strachan, who owns one of those enormous houses on King Harald Street, was reacting to the news that a dairy farmer in the Ness is to stop his dairy operation because it’s no longer a profitable venture.

Sitting on his Torkel chair at his Malm desk atop his Ådum rug, Ronnie replied to the Shetland Times facebook story about it saying “It’s joost TERRIBLE that Shetlanders dunna buy da local milk – use it or you will lose it folks.”

Sources tell us that Ronnie has never even stepped foot in furniture shop Westside Pine, we also learned that he’s off to Birmingham tomorrow to look at a car he’s thinking of buying off Gumtree.

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