Tavish to rule Shetland for next 482 years

LERWICK BOWLS HALL – Local MSP is set to continue to his democratically mandated reign of terror for another 482 years, after triumphing at the ballot box last night.

Mr Scott used his victory speech to abolish democracy in Shetland in favour of Scott’s Law, which will see him rule for another 482 years at least.

SNP rival Danus Skene said: “What can we possible do? Tavish won a supermajority and we’re now all going to suffer from his democratic reign of terror”

Tavish first won the seat back in 1999, and has now been terrorising Shetland for over 17 years.  His atrocities include introducing the Air Discount Scheme and bringing BT and Vodafone up to the Isles to answer for their crap service provision.

“It’s joost easier dis wye” said Tavish, wearing one of his famous Shetland accent ganzies.

God help us. God help us all.

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