SHETLAND Islands Council leaders have spoken of their delight that a prolonged political shambles across the UK is making them look fairly competent.
Magnie from Ollaberry, 72, said he used to get dat mad aboot da cooncil, but he now realises most councillors behave like total gents compared to the backstabbing, vainglorious imbeciles populating the House of Commons.
One council source said it had really come to something when Da Flea would genuinely be a more diplomatic alternative to the UK’s actual foreign secretary. Another likened Boris Johnson’s appointment to sending Stuart Hill in to bat on Shetland’s behalf.
“It’s brilliant,” council leader Gary Robinson told the local press. “All we have to do is avoid shagging dead pigs or behaving like a cross between Satan’s underlings and the undead, and Shetland fokk are suddenly saying ‘well, dir no dat bad’.
“Westminster makes the Dave Clark fiasco seem like a perfectly normal state of affairs. Brexit? If they keep this up much longer we’ll be demanding Shexit.”
Robinson was heard telling colleagues at Lystina House: “I’d take Billy Fox over Liam Fox any day of the week”.
Meanwhile, Northern Isles MP Alistair Carmichael is determined that the Lib Dems are gonna start fucking shit up in order to get some headlines.