New Sumburgh cafe reliant on Loganair remaining unreliable

“We picked the one place in Shetland where we knew loads of people would be hanging around for ages”. So say the owners of a new café in the departure lounge at Sumburgh Airport.

Duo Julie Moncrieff and Paul Ritch are set to open the café at the start of December, with the promise of high quality coffee and luxury sandwiches.

It has emerged that the pair scoured the length and breadth of the islands before settling upon Sumburgh as the ideal location.

The main attraction was a “captive audience” that is “without parallel” elsewhere in Shetland. If it succeeds then franchises in Kirkwall and Stornoway airports could follow.

“We just hae tae hope Loganair’s reliability problems continue,” Moncrieff said, “or hit’ll blow a coffee field-sized hole in wir business plan.”

Meanwhile, it is understood that a Lerwick barber is hoping to follow suit after noticing people growing mullets and overly long beards while waiting to fly south.

“When the flight delays were short it was usually just a case o’ a few guys with 5 o’clock shadows an’ da odd wife re-doin’ her makeup,” said Johnny Scissorhands. “But now I’m hearing of guys cultivating an entire Up Helly Aa beard, and women growing out their roots while waiting for the BE6993 to Aberdeen.”

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