LERWICK – After more than a century of Up Helly-Aa events, a member of the Jarl Squad finally conceded that the rain had, infact, dampened his spirit on the day.
Up Helly-Aa revellers are world renown for their inability to have damp spirits despite the often heavy rain that accompanies the fire festival. Excitement levels are often said to be so high that spirits were undampenable. But 2016 will go down in history as the first ever year that rain did indeed dampen the spirit of at least one member of the parade.
Speaking anonymously to Da Bonxie, the Jarl Squad member confessed:
“I just can’t pretend anymore. I bloody hate squelching about in my wet boots, getting soaked by Shetland’s shitty weather.
“Every year we’re told to be bold and strong as they – our viking ancestors, that is – but it’s nonsense. I know plenty of men who would much rather be sitting at home watching the whole thing on the webcam. But no – we have to pretend that marching up and down streets in torrential rain is enjoyable. Bollocks to that.”
An investigation is being carried out as to which Jarl Squad member squealed and it is anticipated that if found, he will be sacrificed at Up Helly-Aa 2017 to the Norse God of Weather, Freyr.